ABUSE CHECKLIST
- They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.
- They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.
- They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.
- They accuse you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.
- They try to control you and treat you like a child.
- They correct or chastise you for your behaviour.
- You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.
- They try to control the finances and how you spend money.
- They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.
- They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong.
- They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language.
- They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.
- They accuse or blame you of things you know aren’t true.
- They have an inability to laugh at themselves and can’t tolerate others laughing at them.
- They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.
- They make excuses for their behaviour, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologizing.
- The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests.
- They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.
- They call you names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.
- They are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time.
- They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.
- They don’t show you empathy or compassion.
- They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.
- They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.
- They don’t seem to notice or care about your feelings.
- They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual.
- They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control.
- They share personal information about you with others.
- They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.
- They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.