1. Did your partner already tell you that you are abusive?
  2. Is your spouse afraid of you?
  3. Have you ever threatened to kill your spouse?
  4. Do you believe that your way is the only way?
  5. Have you ever hit, slapped, pushed, pulled hair, or choked your spouse?
  6. Do you often feel jealousy?
  7. Do you believe you have the right to know what your spouse is doing and where your spouse is all the time?
  8. Do you call or text your spouse incessantly when he or she is out without you?
  9. Do you think of yourself as in charge?
  10. Do you enjoy seeing your spouse in pain, crying or hurt?
  11. Do you believe your spouse deserves to be hit or yelled at or punished?
  12. Do you believe your spouse ‘asked for it’?
  13. Do you break or destroy your spouse’s belongings on purpose?
  14. Have you ever been arrested for violent behavior?
  15. Do others tell you that have an anger problem?
  16. Do others tell you that you seem paranoid?
  17. Are you afraid of asking for help because you might lose everything that is important to you?
  18. Has your spouse ever tried to leave you?
  19. Do you think about “getting even” with your spouse? 
  20. Do you twist things around, lie or exaggerate to make your partner doubt him/her self and sense of reality?